How Do You Support A Friend Who Lost Their Child? I Honestly Don’t Know 

(Above, l.-r.) Josh, Christina, Christina’s niece Anaiah, her sisters Tina & Ilene, daughter Neveah & Troy & Iris Stevenson. (Photos provided by Troy Stevenson)

I only remember meeting Christina Ramirez — the daughter of my friends Troy and Iris Stevenson — once, but now, I will never be able to forget her. 

I remember the first time Troy told me that Christina was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It seemed like it was only a few months after he told me that he also had cancer. But, while Troy beat his illness, Christina tragically did not. 

Christina’s husband Anthony, Neveah, Christina & Josh. 

A few weeks ago (on Oct. 17), I saw Troy and Christina’s 11-year-old son Josh at Main Event, where the North Tampa Bay Chamber was hosting a “Compassion Station” to help those displaced by and/or in need following the two hurricanes that blasted Pasco County and most of Florida. 

“Christina’s not doing well,” Troy told me. “Iris and I are now having to think about taking care of Josh for her.” (Her daughter Neveah will live with Christina’s husband Anthony.) 

His words shook me to my core. As a parent, you can’t help but try not to think of dealing with the same situation with your own children because it’s unthinkable. And yet, it seems that too many parents (even one is too many, but still) are dealing with this situation every day. No matter what your religious beliefs may be, it’s still horrifying. 

“I just don’t understand,” Troy said that day. “Why can’t it be me instead of her?” 

I have known Troy, a fellow New Yorker, for about a decade and I’ve seen all the good he has done for the community — first at Wesley Chapel Nissan and since then with his Acme Mobile LED trucks, which even though it’s how he earns his livelihood, he has donated them to many worthy causes, whether with the Rotary Club of Wesley Chapel or just for people and causes he believes in strongly. 

But, in all those years and times we have spent together, I have never once seen that look of being broken inside the way I did that day. And, who could blame him? Any parent who loves their kids would feel and look the same way. 

Troy says he was born again in 2006 and the theme at Christina’s Celebration of Life on Nov. 6 was definitely one of strong belief that Troy, Iris, Christina (who passed at age 43) and their family would all be reunited with the Lord someday. 

But, as I’ve said whenever someone I’ve known has passed, no matter what you believe, the fact is that it won’t be this life. Will it be better for those who believe? Will Christina be healed in Heaven? I certainly hope so. But, as Jannah and I stood at Trinity Memorial Gardens with what had to be at least 200 people — from Pasco Sheriff Chris Nocco and all five county commissioners, to dozens of Chamber and Rotary members, family and friends, we couldn’t help but feel a little broken inside ourselves for Troy and Iris. I’ll admit we didn’t know what to say or how to act, we just told them that we love them and are here for them. 

Weeks before Christina passed, the Rotary Club planned a Casino Night Fund Raiser to help the family with the expenses related to Troy and Christina’s treatments. And, even though Christina lost her battle, that event is still happening. It is being held on Saturday, November 23, 7 p.m. (at the Hilton Garden Inn off S.R, 56). which is a few days before the date this issue is guaranteed to hit mailboxes throughout Wesley Chapel. However, since many of our issues have reached mailboxes as early as the Friday or Saturday before our Tuesday “guaranteed by” cover dates, I hope if you’re reading this, even on Saturday, you’ll want to be part of it.